Self-love Lessons From Fenix the Cat

"I want to love myself as much as Fenix lovesafter that. Fenix was gone for 5 ½ days before he
himself. That's my goal," I stated firmly. You see, Ishowed up on the porch again, ready to be let in.
was telling my master mind partner, Sharareh, "I thinkSo now that you know who Fenix is, I still haven't
God loves me at least as much as I love my cat." Itold you about my goal to "love myself as much as
was reasoning that if I, as imperfect and conditionalFenix loves himself." You see, as a survivor of an
as I am, can spoil a stray and feed him gourmet foodabusive upbringing, I somehow got the idea that I
and take him to the groomer at $50 a pop, thenwas responsible for everything and that somehow if
certainly God who is almighty, omnipotent andI controlled my behavior, I could control my
unconditional can take pretty good care of me if Ienvironment and make people love me or treat me
just let Him. Shrareh said, "You have to love yourselfwell. As a result, I guess you could say I became a
as much as Fenix loves himself."control freak. Being a control freak is extremely
Loving myself as much as Fenix loves himself hasexhausting and their aren't really any good payoffs to
been my goal for the past 3 months. Fenix is ait. In fact, it seems to me that the people who are
long-haired, Tabby Persian cat. He came to live withhappiest and most successful do a lot of letting go.
us in 2001, 2 days after our house caught on fire andThey allow others to help them. They have fun.
we went to live in a hotel for 8 months.They work in teams. They believe that they are
When we came home to visit our belongings and"worth it." In many ways, I think that's the majority
pack needed items for our stay away from home,of what sets success and failure apart. Well, I want
we saw this furry orange and white cat poking itssuccess and happiness so I decided to take a lesson
head around corners and eventually working his wayfrom my cat.
to live in a box on the porch. I had wanted a kittyFenix is a perfect example of letting go and receiving.
for years but my husband insisted it would beWhen he wants love, he jumps on my lap, when he
disaster since we already had a dog. When I saw thisdoesn't, he bites me and runs away. When he's
scared, furry kitty on our porch, I couldn't help buthungry, he eats, when he's thirsty he drinks. Never
take it a can of tuna. Little did I know, two minutesonce does he have to sit and wonder where his next
later I had a friend for life. After a few bites of tuna,meal will come from. He boldly showed up on our
he darted in the front door and straight to the familyporch one day, decided he was home and refused to
room.leave. We caved into his wishes and went on to not
"We can't have a cat now," proclaimed my husband. Ionly feed and groom him but give him and extremely
had to admit, this time he was right. So, I scoopedloving environment to live in daily. When I worry
up the kitty, walked him to the front door and setabout life and not having enough, I look at Fenix.
him on the porch. Before I could close the door, heSometimes I even stretch or take a nap.
whisked past my legs and straight into the familyWhen Fenix ran off, right in the middle of this whole
room again. With some pleading and guilt trips, Ilesson, I had to wonder...how does all of this fit in the
persuaded my husband to let us keep him. Weplan? I love Fenix, he loves me, why is he gone?
named him Fenix because he's "out of the fire". TheWell, here's what I realized today. Fenix was not only
spelling was inspired by Felix the Cat.bold enough to come proclaiming his princehood once.
So, off we went, Fenix, Hubby, me and Koya (aHe actually has the nerve to take off, do his own
white Samoyed). We lived together in a condo loftthing for five days, come back with no explanation
for 8 months. When everything was prepared, weand march right in like he's the owner. He never once
returned to a beautifully redesigned and brand-newhad to wonder "Do you think they'll let me back in?
home with all members of the family in tact.Do you think they still love me?" I can tell you, he
Fenix was coming to live in our home for the firstdidn't waste one second planning his alibi or practicing
time so we kept a tight rein on him until he realizedhis excuses.
this is his new and permanent home. We've beenJust when I thought I loved myself as much as Fenix
back in the house almost 4 years now and if Fenixloves himself, I realized I had to kick it up another
ever runs off, he's usually very close by and beggingnotch and let go of the past. Just like I don't "hold it
to be let in the house within 15 minutes.against" Fenix for leaving and "breaking my heart" for
Last Saturday was different. We were gone from5 days, I know that when I truly love and forgive
home most of the day and night and left an openingmyself, I find people and situations that accept me
for the dog to get in and out while we were gone.as I am and who can love me even when I make
When we came home, Fenix was nowhere to bemistakes. I also know that when I accept myself, I'm
found. Not this night or the night after or the night10 times more accepting of others and their "faults.